Zander, an American Knows How To Die

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Zander, an American in a hole surrounded by autumn leaves wearing a hoodie and a blanket on top in his music video for the 2024 single

I love life. Not just my life, life itself. So I love death like a real lover appreciates their thick wife’s cellulite: it makes her real, not flawed. You can spend your whole life staring at the thing, minimizing it, being ashamed of it, or desperately trying to make it go away. But there’s nothing happier than a life lived with acceptance of it.

I don’t know how to transcend into the spiritual plane. I don’t meditate, I haven’t had an eye-opening psychedelic trip, nor a near-death experience. But I know writing is like breathing for me, and dropping music is like virgin birth. I know I feel responsible for informing you, even when I want nothing to do with you. I know the more things change around me, the more sure I am some permanent spark of a thing is “me” inside of my body. And I’m proud I gave other little sparks chances at this life with their own bodies (i.e. my kids). And I’d give my body for theirs to continue.

There’s a lot I feel compelled to do while I’m in this body. Compulsions that say, “Think about it, but I know the right answer,” like the smiling grandparent just waiting for you to get it. And when I consider a life guided by these unchanging urges, I don’t know what else is better. I don’t know what else there is after that except death — mission complete! You lived.

Reincarnation, nirvana, heaven, hell, purgatory, and nothingness all have their validity. I’m not against any of these views of life after death. But no matter what reward or lack thereof awaits us, the present is a … !

Clichés are cliché for a reason.

As far as I can tell, knowing how to live is knowing how to die. True to self, tidy conscience, seeing all things physical as the reflection of all things spiritual. It usually doesn’t take long for me to learn a lesson, and I’ve changed a number of times to ensure that bright burn in my gut and cool breeze in my mind feel the same.

There are so many things I want to see myself accomplish, but lately it’s been clear the goal is the journey. I did it, I’ll do it.

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